The Day Dwight Snapped
by LoveLife1
Summary: Dwight had, had enough of the twins. Dalton by CP Coulter Fan Story. One-shot.


**A/N: So... I came up with this last week. I finally finished :) It's not that great.. but it's really just for a laugh. I don't know how well I got Dwight's character traits, but I guess I did okay. This is to make up for me barely commenting on her AMAZING story. Oh, and I think that Dwight actually has a roomate in the story but.. lets assume that his roomate somehow turned into a demon and Dwight vanquished him. Okay? :) Oh and sorry for any grammar mistakes. Am I even allowed to post this here? Thanks for reading. **

**Disclaimer: Glee belongs to the writers and all of these original characters belong to CP. I just borrowed them for the humor.**

The Day Dwight Snapped

_Went the distance, now I'm back on my feet__  
__just a man and his will to survive_

What was that noise? Why was it coming from my room? More importantly, is it a ghost who has lost its way, and is now serenading me to ask for help? Dwight contemplated these thoughts as he rolled over in bed, throwing a pillow over his head to block out the noise.

_Don't lose your grip on the dreams of the past__  
__You must fight just to keep them alive_

The music grew louder as he continued to ignore it, successfully keeping the tired boy awake___. _

_It's the, eye of the tiger, it's the thrill of the fight__  
__Risin' up to the challenge of our rival__  
__And the last known survivor stalks his prey in the night__  
__And he's watchin' us all with the eye of the tiger_

Suddenly the music blared to a level of discomfort causing Dwight to sit upright in his bed. Clutching his head, he found the culprit to his sleep deprivation. Well, more like culprits. On the floor of his room sat a black iHome, on it a plain iPod touch. In his doorway stood two identical boys, usually referred to as Evil 1 and Evil 2 by Dwight, one twin holding a remote and both laughing maniacally. Dwight's eyes narrowed, they knew that they were not allowed into his room without the proper cleaning.

"Out!" he flung one arm at the door to make his point. Both twins continued to laugh, but the music suddenly ceased causing the laughter to sound louder than need be.

"Good morning!" one twin cooed

"We thought that this would be a lovely wake up call for you." the other twin finished for him.

"Thought it would get you pumped up and ready for the day!"

"Now if you'll excuse us." They started to edge towards his door, but not before grabbing the iHome and iPod.

"We do have other mischief to attend to"

"Busy schedule and all."

"You know how it is."

Before Dwight could yell again the twins were closing his door and already running down the hall. This was what he had to deal with on a daily basis. Evil twins, insane housing mates, possessed clothing hoarders (because, really, why would you need that many clothes unless you were conspiring for something far greater than going to school?), and even the occasional flesh eating ex-girlfriend (not his, of course). It was a good thing he was trained for these sorts of things, though, or he would have been killed a long time ago.

Noticing the time, Dwight slid out of bed to begin his morning. Carefully walking around a taped section on the floor, this was where he vanquished an evil ghost at the beginning of the school year; he went to the mirror first to do his usual Look-at-hair-ruffle-it-slightly-move-on routine. Satisfied, he went to his closet where he kept his uniform.

The thing about Dwight's uniform was that it wasn't just for looking good and prestigious, but his uniform was tailored to his specific "needs". For example, on the inside of his blazer were a series of secret pockets, one for an EMF detector, one for a miniature steak (the regular size steak was kept under his pillow), and another for the Handbook to Warding off Evil Spirits. His custom belt was able to hold his rock salt, spray gun, and various amulets. The bottoms of his pants also secretly concealed a pouch of protection stones.

While most of his fellow students thought he was a bit eccentric, if not crazy, he thought of himself as "just being prepared". It was also pride that he felt as he walked down the halls that morning, knowing that he could single handedly save his school from an attack of the supernatural. He was, after all___, __The Hunter____. _He was the _Protector of the Naïve____._ He was-

"Dwight!"

Annoyed. He was annoyed. The pair of voices that had called his name quickly made their presence known as they began walking on either side of him. Both smiling innocently and both causing for Dwight to reach towards his Holy water squirt gun.

"We have been thinking" Ethan said cheerily

"A very bad thing to do." Dwight mumbled and the twins rolled their eyes but continued on.

"You know how you do the whole purging of the evil spirits bit?"

Dwight raised his eyebrows, contemplating on whether or not to tell them that his "purging of the evil spirits bit" had saved their lives on multiple occasions. He bit his tongue instead.

"Well, that makes you sort of like a super hero"

This earned them a look of curiosity, seeing as he had thought of the very same thing from time to time.

"You fight off evil"

"Albeit, evil that no one can see."

"Sort of like a germ,"

"But evil none the less!"

Once again Dwight bit his tongue to the fact that they were technically comparing him to a sanitary device. The twins stopped walking to stand in front of him both looking rather excited about where this was going.

"Well, if you are a super hero."

"By the way your name would probably be Dwight the Hunter."

"You will need a backing team."

"And we thought, if you wanted, we could be your backing team"

The twins had stopped their banter to look at each for a brief moment before continuing.

"And we thought that we could be called the-"

_"__D-men!" _both twins laughed loudly and high fived each other before looking back towards Dwight. The look he gave both boys caused them to laugh again. Dwight just huffed, mumbling something about the title fitting better than they knew, and pushed through to get to his classes.

The rest of Dwight's day had been relatively quiet. His classes were uninteresting and there hadn't been any suspicious activity lurking in the school halls. That was, until dinner came around and most of his usual companions sat together. The dinner itself was normal; Kurt and Blaine sat together, on the other side of Kurt was Reed, across from them sat Wes and David, and then beside David was where Dwight sat. Everyone had been chatting about upcoming events when Reed mentioned:

"Where are the tweedles?"

The question stopped the group for a second, taking the time to listen for any yells of unsuspecting victims.

"I saw them earlier. They were heading towards the upper levels in Windsor." Wes said, almost afraid at the thought of what they could have been doing. The group thought about the information.

"Maybe they were going to see Han." Reed offered

"Well, whatever they are doing we might want to watch out. The tweedles have been pretty restless today" David's exasperated expression gave way to the fact that he had been the one to deal with most of their tirades.

"How could those two get restless? They practically have the world at their finger tips!" Kurt shook his head at his friends. Blaine just smiled and laughed a little.

"They're just going through their usual bout of mid-term mischief fever."

The mid-term mischief fever, MTMF, is usually, but not limited to, when the twins undergo a series of boredom in the middle of the school year. This boredom causes the twins to perform more unusual and crazy antics than normal. The twins weren't the only ones to go through this though, last year David had bought two dozen Christmas lights and decorations and put them all up in Mr. Murdoch's room. It had taken him weeks to find the singing Santa that would belt out "Jingle Bell Rock" whenever a button was pushed.

"Well, _Blaine____,_ you were not the one to find over thirty different types of carrot based food items on your side of the room." Wes sighed and mumbled something about not even liking carrots. A few seconds later the door to the dining room opened and in stepped the twins. The conversation stopped and as the twins sat down no one questioned their day's events.

After the group had gotten back to their house they all dispersed into different directions. Dwight headed towards his room contemplating on whether or not he should get started on his homework or search for more spirits. When he reached his door, though, he automatically knew something was wrong. Hanging above his door was an upside down horseshoe, and the line of rock salt beneath his door had gone missing. Dwight stood there momentarily, with his mouth agape, before he dashed into his room.

The inside wasn't much better. His bed had been exchanged with what looked like a torture table that should have been in the dungeon of a castle. The dresser was gone and in its place was a black cauldron filled with his normal clothing, the stirring spoon sitting beside it. On the walls there were different pictures of knights and castles, and there was even a poster for _Spamalot_. His closet door was open but nothing lay inside except a broom.

Exasperated Dwight ran around his room trying to find any of his old things. There was no rock salt, no amulets, and no detectors of any sort. It was all gone. Dwight clutched his hair, almost ready to scream. He then saw it. In the corner of the room sat a complete set of a Knight's armor. It stood at least six feet and held a sword; the only thing off about it was that it looked like it had been painted. When Dwight moved closer he saw that it had indeed been painted. The Knights armor was white.

Dwight was out of the door and running down the hall in an instant. He ran towards the common room, not slowing his pace as he threw open the doors. Inside sat the twins on one couch, watching Reed and Kurt make some sort of signs. When he came through everyone looked at him, only somewhat surprised by his entrance. The twins smiled a knowing smiling but didn't move or say anything.

"Where is my stuff?" Dwight spat vehemently. He stomped towards the twins whose smiles had grown wider.

"You found our surprise then?" one twin said. Kurt and Reed looked at each other warily but didn't intervene.

"I want you both to put my room back to order, and then I would like for both of you to go jump into the pits of Tartarus!" Dwight was practically twitching from anger. His room had been full of expensive equipment and various items to vanquish demons and with the rock salt line gone there was no telling what could be lurking in there.

Both twins got up, still smiling, and walked towards him.

"You didn't like the surprise?" one twin had a bemused look on his face

"We thought you would love it! I thought it was rather riveting" the other gesticulated to make his point.

"With the Knight and torture table and all"

"It was very mid-_evil_" That was it. With both twins laughing Dwight headed towards the table where Kurt and Reed had ceased to make their posters. He picked up a black permanent marker, absentmindedly asking if he could borrow it and both boys simply nodded, and turned towards the twins. With a loud yell he ran straight towards them, they both tried to jump away but Dwight had successfully gotten one of them. He had tackled the twin to the ground and started writing something on him before Reed and Kurt could pull him off. When they did the twin on the floor sat up looking terrified.

"What just happened? What did he do?" he practically yelled. Scrawled across the twins forehead in thick letters was one word: Evan.

"The worst thing possible. I made you an _individual_ Evan." Dwight said smugly. He pulled himself out of Reed and Kurt's grip to walk towards the stunned twins. Pulling out his Holy water squirt gun, Dwight sent a squirt towards Ethan and Evan.

"Die demons, die!" was his last statement before quickly walking out the door.

Evan looked towards Ethan his mouth still hanging open.

"What does he mean?" Evan was wide eyed.

"He… he.. across" Ethan pointed towards his own forehead, still stunned at what had happened. Kurt and Reed's shock had worn off and they were now suppressing laughter at the distraught twins.

It wasn't until the next morning at breakfast did Dwight feel truly satisfied. At the end of the group the twins were cutting hateful looks towards Dwight. They were no doubt planning their revenge, but he could care less. Being able to see the name still on Evan's forehead was something that he would feel proud of for a long time.

"How did you know which one it was?" Reed asked, everyone sitting near him looking equally as curious. The group had found the event to be amusing, even amazing seeing as how no one expected Dwight to do something like that.

"Well, the fact that Ethan practically ninja rolled away had been a clue." Everyone smiled widely; one of the few differences between the twins had been Evan's demise.

Yes, another day in Dwight's eventful life. He had been able to take down Evil 1 and Evil 2, a feat not easily manageable, even if it was only for a few days. Nothing could stop him now; he was, after all, a superhero.


End file.
